I left work early today, about 4.45pm. Not feeling too good, head felt like it was splitting into two. So I drove back to my hometown. Basically the whole family members are heading home this weekend. It is my eldest aunt's first year death anniversary. And I am going to blog today in tribute to her. Heard from papa this morning that second aunt from Perth and third aunt from KL are already home. Eew... don't really like them. Raymond and Ivan, my elder brothers, will be driving back together tonight from Singapore. And I will go home tomorrow morning.

So there you have it, the family reunion. The last time we had a full complete family reunion was one year ago exactly, on this day, during the death. Sad as I may say, I wish we had a happier reunion. Never in my life did I remember the whole family come back for a happy reunion. Not even for Chinese New Year. It makes me think how sad this family is and I feel so pain. I don't remember a time when all of us sat down on a dinner table together. Why now? Why is everyone rushing back now to meet at this event? Isn't it too late?

My dear aunt is the eldest sister from my father's side. I have zero memories from my mom's side as my mom passed away since I was three. So my dear aunt looked after the three of since then. I even called my aunt, mom. Oh, I so missed her. A mixed feeling of regret and heartache, this feeling is so painful. I can't put it into words. It is a sad sad feeling. To think of the two years I started work after I came back from my studies, I should have spent more time with her. I did not repay her what she has sacrificed for me and my brothers. Her death was so sudden, so unexpected. She just went slowly with no last goodbye.

All I could do right now is to pray for her. May her soul rest in peace.